All right. Thirty years ago, when someone said their ‘wrinkles have wrinkles’ I laughed. It’s no joke. I have families of wrinkles, living in condos. So, when “How to Reduce Wrinkles” popped up on my computer screen, I had to open it. (Note to self: If I put key words such as ‘reduce’ and ‘quick’ and ‘wrinkle’ and ‘fat’ in a headline, people might either open and read my stuff or put me in junk mall forever.)
I took a chance. The WebMD post for Saturday, April 21 is informative. I will have trouble with some of the suggestions and can’t really diss them until I try them. So, here goes.
1. Sleep on your back. Good luck, if you snore or drool. How can I stay on my back all night? I must admit that the deep crease on the left side of my face could be from years of left-leaning sleep. I cannot go to the right. That would give me a heart attack, no matter how many times I get my body to the healthy club.
2. Sleep with salmon. I mean, eat more salmon.
3. Reading glasses to avoid the mistake in #2. Also, sunglasses in the sun. No squid, er, squinting.
4. “Slather on alpha-hydroxy acids (AHAs).”This is going to cost money and add yet another jar of something to my war paint chest.
5. Trade coffee for cocoa. Wait! These are two of my best friends. I would NEVER tell one friend I was only going to hang out with the other.
6. Don’t over wash your face. Whew. Something I’ve done right all along. Now, if I just knew how to get the mascara off my pillowcase.
7. Soy for six months. I know, I’ll make a pillow out of tofu.
8. Topical Vitamin C. Wow. My excitement faded faster than my age spots with this one. I could just see myself, on my back, covered in oranges and grapefruit. Sorry. More money, as supposedly the most potent solution is a solution that costs about $10 a drop – L-ascorbic acid.
I do know that weight training and core sessions can at least help me sit up straight. A tight core and good posture take ten years off, so I’ll opt for that. As women are so much in the news today, if you are in San Jose, come on over to celebrate them on Saturday, May 5. Celebrate the Women in your LIfe starts at 6:45 am on the pool deck. You'll feel younger. The heck with looking like a five-year-old!
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